Stay safe from romance scams this Valentine’s Day
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, there’s more to think about than chocolates and roses. Sadly, romance scams are on the rise and are a real risk to your finances. Because most romance scams happen online, we’re showing you signs to watch out for and sharing our best tips for staying safe while online dating.
What is a romance scam?
In romance scams, a fraudster pretends to fall in love with you online. They create a fake dating profile and gain your trust by dating you virtually. Then, the scammer takes advantage of your emotions for financial gain. They trick you into sending them money or handing over enough personal information to steal your identity. These scams can last a long time, and result in significant financial losses.
How do romance scams work?
Typically, romance scams happen in two steps. First, the scammer earns your trust. Then, they use it to trick you.
How romance scammers earn your trust
These criminals work hard to gain your trust. Their aim is for you to believe that the relationship is real. To do this, they may play with your emotions over a long period of time. Look out for:
Too much love
Scammers may use over-the-top flattery, a tactic also known as ‘love bombing’. This can include declaring love in a very short amount of time and showering you with compliments or gifts.
Keeping things secret
These criminals may ask you to keep your relationship with them a secret from your friends and family. They don’t want anyone to warn you about their scam, so they’ll tell you not to share anything about them.
Emotional stories
These fraudsters often start by sharing emotional stories about their life. They might say they’ve had similar experiences to you. They do this to gain your trust and sympathy.
How romance scammers trick you
Once they’ve gained your trust, scammers will ask you for money. They often make up emergencies to pressure you into sending money quickly.
These emergencies could include:
- Medical bills
- Theft or robbery
- Travel expenses (for example for plane tickets to visit you)
- Sudden repairs
Be wary of stories that pull at your heartstrings or demand money urgently. It’s wise to question why they cannot access their own money. Remember that scammers use these tactics to exploit your emotions and manipulate you into sending them money.
How do I spot an online romance scam?
It can be hard to spot romance scams. But here are 6 red flags you can look out for:
1. Asking for money
If someone you’ve only met online (and never in person) asks you to send them money, it’s a major red flag. Be wary of stories of ‘emergencies’ that urgently need money right away.
2. Refusal to meet in person
If they refuse to meet face-to-face or do video calls, they might not be who they say they are. Watch out for differences in their excuses for not meeting up in person or why they can’t do video calls.
3. Mistakes in stories
Pay attention to the stories they tell you. Look out for details that don’t seem to match up. This could be a sign they’re not being completely honest with you.
4. Making lots of spelling and grammar mistakes
Keep an eye out for spelling and grammar errors. A few mistakes is generally normal, but lots of mistakes could indicate that the person is not genuine.
5. A small number of photos on their profile
If a profile only has a few photos, it’s likely a fake account. This should signal alarm bells that the profile might not be real or could be using someone else's photos, a tactic known as ‘catfishing’. Be extra careful if the photos look professional or if the person looks like a model, as they might be trying to trick you.
6. They’re asking you for lots of personal information
If they ask you for lots of personal details, like your full name, address or financial information, they may be trying to steal your identity.
Watch out for these warning signs. While one or two may be innocent, multiple should alarm you that something is wrong. If you suspect a romance scam, it's best to stop talking to the person right away.
How do I protect myself from a romance scam?
A simple rule to protect yourself against romance fraud is to never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. But here are some more steps that you can take to stay safe when dating online:
1. Use trusted dating websites
Scammers may try to get you to communicate privately, such as by text or email. But you’re often better protected against scams if you talk on the dating platform. Also, they usually have tools to block and report suspicious users if you need to.
2. Do your research
It’s wise to do some research into your potential partner. Look them up on social media platforms or reverse image search their profile picture to confirm their identity.
3. Be careful about sending personal information
Avoid sharing personal information online with someone you haven’t met in person. Details like your full name, address or date of birth could be used to steal your identity. Criminals could use this information for identity fraud, by attempting to open credit cards or take out loans in your name.
4. Ask advice from friends and family
If you feel like something may be wrong, trust your instincts. Reach out to friends or family for their input. They can offer you a fresh perspective which can help you see things more clearly.
How do I report a scammer?
If you suspect you’re dealing with a romance scammer, trust your gut. Stop all communication with them and report them. Reporting them helps protect others from falling victim to their scams.
On the dating site
Report a suspected scammer’s profile to the dating platform. They should investigate and remove the profile if necessary.
If you think you’ve been scammed
It’s important to act quickly. Contact your bank straight away and explain what has happened. They’ll advise you on what to do next. Also, report the scam to Action Fraud online or by calling 0300 123 2040.
